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By BILL THOMPSON
I guess I have become what used to be called “an old fogy.”
I am such an old fogy that I don’t know if there is a more modern term to describe somebody who has reached an age where his opinions are viewed as outdated.
Be that as it may, I have noted a decline in the dignity with which we interact with each other. I do know that the new word for such conduct is “manners.”
I don’t limit this observation to just etiquette, those proscribed rituals which have delineated certain areas of social behavior such as which fork to use, but I also include those actions that do or don’t show an appreciation for our fellow human beings.
Traditionally, those of us who grew up here in the South began to learn the rules of social conduct from an early age. “Yes, ma’am” and “No, ma’am” or “Yes, sir” and “No, sir” were proper responses taught as soon as we learned to speak.
In fact, mothers were the first to teach us manners. I don’t hear those phrases as much now among young people but when I do hear it, my estimation of their upbringing rises considerably.
I have often been chastised for “being dressed up all the time.” In actuality, I am not dressed up all the time but I do think there are times when casual dress is inappropriate. This is particularly true for business attire. A businessperson loses some dignity when he or she shows up for a business luncheon or board meeting in shorts and a t-shirt.
That’s why most suits are called “business suits.” Casual attire at those kinds of functions insults those people with whom we are meeting since it implies that they aren’t worth the effort of getting dressed up. How we dress does reflect how we feel about the people who see us. That’s just a personal opinion, of course.
Probably since time began, older people have frowned on the dress and actions of younger people. I try to be a little less judgmental in that regard because I view most youthful attire as just a part of growing up. It’ll pass. But I do think their clothes should be on them. This means covering areas that should be covered including but not limited to their rear ends.
By far the biggest evidence of the decline, if not demise, of manners is what used to be called “sportsmanship.” This applies to the athletes as well as the fans. Coaches used to chastise players for “grandstanding” but not any more. I do not watch football to watch the newest and most innovative dance steps demonstrated by the man who takes the ball across the goal line. I reserve that observation for the cheerleaders.
Spitting has become such a traditional part of baseball that I have to admit it is acceptable but not when they spit on the umpire or each other. You don’t have to be a lip reader to know what is being said on the field. To be charged with “unsportsmanlike conduct,” a player must commit some chargeable misdemeanor.
Manners are far more than ritual or dress. Our manners are an indication of friendliness, courtesy, hospitality, gentleness and kindness. It is a way of showing those we meet that we appreciate them enough to make the effort.
I believe folks can be dignified without diminishing geniality. And you don’t have to like somebody to be polite to them. In fact, I heard once that a Southerner could be polite and courteous right up until the time he shoots you.
That’s just a personal opinion, of course. It doesn’t apply to old fogies.