Mary and Claude Bowen: 75 years and counting

When Claude and Mary Bowen were married in 1932, Herbert Hoover was president. The couple spent their first decade together in the Great Depression and will mark their 75th anniversary today, Christmas Eve. “I don’t think he’s ever forgotten our anniversary,” Mary said about the man with whom she shares 40 descendents.

Staff photo by Mark Gilchrist

By JESSICA WAYNE
Staff Writer

When it comes to long-term relationships Claude and Mary Bowen have written the book. Married in 1932. the couple will celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary on Dec. 24.

“We’ve been together all this time and we haven’t separated...not once,” said Mary. “I didn’t know it was such a big deal (making it to the 75th anniversary) until people started calling and talking about it.”

The couple started dating when Mary was a girl of 14 and they got married right after she turned 16.

“He was about my only date,” Mary said as she laughs and pats Claude’s knee. They sit sides touching on the couch with familiar ease. Their love for one another is obvious in the way they hold hands and the uncanny way they seem to know when the other is about to speak. Theirs is obviously an anniversary of love and celebration.

“It feels good (looking back on 75 years)” said Mary, “and I give the Lord credit. When I wake up in the morning I thank the Lord.”

Despite numerous health problems Claude and Mary still live in their home without assistance care. Their daughter, Sonya Bowen, said: “Dad still drives them both to town and doctor’s appointments and he still gets around well. A few months ago he drove the lawn tractor into the ditch and flipped it over. He climbed out and went to get the other tractor to pull that one out and he’s almost 95.”

“We’ve had two women… I didn’t see much work being done. One of them cooked, but we didn’t like it (her cooking) and Claude said he’d rather go to town and get food, so that was the end of that,” Mary said.

“We chose to stay home and help each other,” Claude explained, “I’m getting too old for another wife, so I’ve got to take care of this one.”

Mary spends much of her day doing exercise to keep her arthritic joints loose. She sits and uses her walking cane, lifting it over her head 15 times and smiling as she demonstrates.

“It’s amazing; when she started the exercises she could barely lift the cane off her knees,” said Sonya. Claude spends much of his time taking care of the yard and the house. “I’ve been at war with pecan leaves for about three weeks now,” Claude said with a big smile.

Mary and Claude were born three miles apart and attended separate churches and schools. Claude was a member of the Happy Hill community, now called Union Valley. He recalls, “There was one building and we had school and church in that same building.” Mary lived in the Mishop Springs community. By chance Claude attended Mishop Springs church for one year and as luck would have it, he met Mary.

The two decided to get married and when Mary told her father his comment was, “If you’re gonna get married, you’ll need a new dress.” She chuckles as she tells the story. “No, he was not happy but they (her parents) were reasonable about it. Most people my age ran off if they wanted to get married. I didn’t do that... I had to have a new dress to get married in.”

The dress Mary chose was red, which was and still is her favorite color. “I’ve tried to keep the fact that my dress was red a secret. Back then, you had to get married in white or blue, but red has always been my favorite color,” said Mary.

Claude and Mary spent their wedding night in the home of Mary’s sister. Friends assembled on the lawn to serenade the couple and bang pots and pans to keep them up all night. It’s an Irish tradition known as shiveree.

“People have quit that foolishness now,” Mary said, but she and Claude both smile at the memory.

The couple had three children, sons Bronnie Frionda and Harold LaFredge, and daughter, Sonya Cherie. “I didn’t like family names like Jim, Bill, Sam and all that stuff. 1 wanted something outside of the family,” said Mary. “I made a mistake when they started school. 1 gave the school both their first and middle names. 1 wanted them called Frionda, LaFredge and Cherie, but the school called them Bronnie, Harold and Sonya.”

The first year of their marriage Claude and Mary resided with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. William Columbus (Lummie) Bowen. Five years later, in 1937, the couple built their own house. They both agree that they have never wanted to live away from Whiteville.

“I have bought close to a dozen different locations, locally, and I could never make up my mind to build on them,” said Claude. “We’ve come close to it, but never did.”

“I’ve never wanted to live anywhere else… well, maybe other places around Whiteville, but not away from Whiteville,” said Mary.

They laugh as they recall stories from years past. Topics range from World War II bombings to Mary’s romantic interest before she met Claude.

A particular favorite involves this reporter’s “Uncle Dump.” With some prodding from her grinning husband, Mary relates the story: “I dated Dump for a while when we were kids and they say he used to write letters 13 pages long to me and hide them in the Dewey Meadow’s collard patch. But, that was before we were old enough to date. When we were (old enough to date), he met Lona Bowen (Claude’s first cousin). Claude and I got married before they did, but we were always good friends,” Mary shared.

Claude worked at Todd Furniture in Wilmington for a year during their marriage, but soon returned to the farm. “It was either come back to the farm or be drafted. We had three small children at home, so he came back here,” said Mary.

The couple also recalls hearing about the bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941.

“We were listening to the radio when they announced that Pearl Harbor had been bombed. We jumped in the car and drove to the radio station. I don’t know why we did that,” Claude shared.

“It was a fearful time. We had those black blinds on the windows and it was a dark town. Everyone just sat in the dark,” said Mary. Blackout blinds were used to reduce light inside houses to a minimum in an effort to avoid enemy air attacks. The theory was that if the enemy could not see the houses from the air they would not bomb the communities.

“Now we hear war so much I reckon we’ve just got use to it but it was a different time back then,” Mary explained.

According to the Bowens, a long-term marriage is easy to attain if you follow two simple rules. “You have to have patience cause you’re going to have problems, but most of the time you can iron them out,” said Mary.

Claude sits quietly as she speaks, but chimes in at the end of her sentence with, “You have to forgive and forget…and never try to win an argument.”

The Bowens suggest that those considering marriage, “Be slow about it and think about it, because the way people are now, they think, ‘I’ll get married and if I don’t like it, I’ll get out of it.’

“When we got married you didn’t get a wife on trial. Back then it was for keeps,” Claude said, “and it still should be that way.”