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By JEFFERSON WEAVER
Staff writer
Let’s get this clear – I am not making fun of Roger Anderson, or any other person who is paralyzed. Such a condition terrifies me, and I would never poke fun at anyone with a true malady. Many people overcome serious handicaps, and I consider them inspirational.
Anderson isn’t one of them.
Anderson is suing a fast food chain because he ate an uncooked chicken burrito, which made him sick and caused a bacterial infection which left him in a wheelchair.
It’s terrible, yes, and the eatery shouldn’t have served improperly prepared food (if they did). They should be punished by the courts for serving something that can make one sick.
I feel like the lion’s share of the responsibility lies with Anderson, since he ate the dang burrito in the first case, despite considering it suspicious.
Now, I have been known to eat some pretty odd things – fried or roasted possum, cattail roots, barbecue beaver, muskrat, and snake top the charts – but I draw the line at eating anything that is supposed to be cooked but even seems like it isn’t. Call me squeamish, but the idea of eating cooked things raw wrinkles my nose (cake batter is an exception).
Anderson, apparently, had no such qualms. He ate what was apparently an uncooked burrito, got sick, got infected, and now he can’t walk. And he’s suing the company that served him.
Sorry, folks. I don’t buy it.
He’s a grownup, and should have realized if he ate something that didn’t taste right, he might get sick.
I place Mr. Anderson in the same ranks as the folks who sue tobacco companies because of smoking-related illnesses. No one at Samson, Republic, R.J. Reynolds, or Phillip Morris ever held a gun to my head and shoved a cigarette in my mouth. Every single one I’ve ever smoked, I lit up out of my own free will.
Therefore, I have no right to sue the tobacco companies if I don’t quit before I have some health problems from my use of their products.
Maybe I’m simplistic in my thinking. If I am unreasonable, please forgive me, and enlighten me as to why I am so ignorant.
I think our society’s desire to get something for nothing has reached embarrassing levels. If you don’t believe me, look at the telephone books and television advertisements for all the civil liability attorneys. People don’t stop and think about what this is doing to other folks – they just worry about that immediate, quick cash offer.
I remember all too well a school bus wreck in a neighboring county several years ago.
My co-worker’s wife was a paralegal, and she constantly let him know what was happening around the courthouse. She was in her office the day the school bus was whacked by another car.
No one was hurt. Were it not for lawyer-proofing and a flat tire, both vehicles could have been driven away. Several of the children were badly frightened, but not a single one had even a bumped head. I know, because I was on the scene as a reporter at the same time the second ambulance arrived. Still, several of the kids were transported to the hospital just to be sure.
A typical late-afternoon school bus wreck, except for the greed that reared its ugly head within minutes.
My friend’s wife had a half-dozen parents in her office before I was on the scene of the wreck.
These parents hadn’t missed the turn to the school board or the hospital. They were lining up to sue the school system, the other driver, and anyone else they could think of. The Highway Patrolman hadn’t finished the report yet, but these folks sent someone else to pick up their children (usually another parent, but in at least one case, an older sibling) so they could get in on that free money.
What made me the angriest about that was how Children’s Protective Services workers were called on one parent who never showed up at the hospital to pick up her child. The mother – if you could call her that – was haranguing another attorney because he couldn’t tell her where the wreck was, much less how much money she would get.
I am not making this up.
I wondered if the child who was left at the hospital, unhurt but alone and possibly scared, sued her mother for pain and suffering, and mental anguish. That’s one lawsuit I wouldn’t have a problem with.
Another frivolous lawsuit bunch that irritates me is the anti-gun crowd.
I own several firearms, ranging from muzzleloaders to modern weapons. I hunt and target shoot with them and if push came to shove, I would not hesitate to defend my home, my family, or someone else’s life using a firearm.
If I were to accidentally or negligently shoot someone, it would be my fault, not that of North Star West, Iver Johnson, or Mossberg.
Were I to intentionally shoot someone, it would have to mean that human was involved in an act that threatened the life or property of someone else; hence, it is the target’s fault. That’s not likely to happen, since I’d only have to shoot someone after the dogs were finished defending their home, but home defense is a column for another day.
In most people’s books, intentionally stealing something or hurting someone is a crime, or committing an act which is considered bad by society and the law. NO, you shouldn’t be shot for stealing someone’s VCR, but you should realize it could happen. If we quit tolerating and coddling lawbreakers, this wouldn’t be an issue, since bad guys would not have the chance to weasel out of paying for their crimes.
But yet, three states (thankfully, ours isn’t one of them – yet) are considering making it a crime to defend your home, your family or yourself, even with non-deadly force. Not only could you be charged with a crime, but you could also be civilly liable.
All this foolishness comes from too many folks not being willing to stand up and do for themselves. As many good things as Franklin D. Roosevelt did, I do wish he hadn’t set the stage for Johnson’s Great Society. Johnson’s masterpiece created a sense of entitlement, one which has extended from the folks too sorry to work for a living, on into a generation or two of people who don’t feel they should have to work.
Like the little girl who ran away from home and crossed the flooded river to avoid washing dishes, they’re perfectly willing to work harder at avoiding work than they ever would at working for a living.
And the easiest way to make sure you don’t have to work? Sue somebody.
Well, the easiest way is to win the lottery, but even that isn’t a sure thing.
Disclaimer: I am not being sued by anyone. I just wrote this column because I don’t understand why people prefer to be lazy and vicious. Where’s the sense of satisfaction in suing somebody, giving a third to half of it to an attorney, then suing someone else when the cash runs out?
Lawsuits don’t teach anyone a lesson, as some of the snake-oil litigators claim. They don’t strike a blow for freedom, rights for the little man, or anyone else who would never be allowed in the front door of a rich civil liability lawyer’s home.
The only person who learns a lesson from a lawsuit is the person who wins a settlement by scaring an insurance company. The only lesson they learn is that if you intentionally eat bad food, smoke cigarettes, or do something to get yourself shot, then you’re on the gravy train.
Pardon me, but I must be too old fashioned for the modern world. I have a conscience, and I’d rather work for a living than dishonestly take advantage of someone else. I’d even rather ‘fess up for my mistakes, since someday we’ll all have to answer for them, and that judge won’t be interested in plea bargains.
Besides, somebody has to pay for my tobacco, bullets, car insurance, and food – although I assure you, I’ll make dang sure my burrito is thoroughly cooked before I take the first bite.
–Weaver is a staff writer at the News Reporter. He may be reached via telephone at 642-4104, ext. 227, or via email at jeffweaver@newsreporter.biz.
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