Monday, November 5, 2007

www.whiteville.com

By JEFFERSON WEAVER
Staff writer

A bumper sticker can say a lot about someone.
That thought occurred to me the other day whilst I was stuck behind a slow-moving pickup on the highway. The fellow had not one, but two stickers on his truck, and I disagreed with both of them. We won’t go into their messages here, but stickers are a form of free speech, and we also have freedom of religion. My fellow wanderer can exercise both those rights as well as I can, and as my pastor is fond of saying, in America we have the right to pursue eternal damnation and brag about it if we so desire.

Musing about those strips of vinyl made me think about what we stick on our vehicles, and why.

My father was famous for his loathing of bumper stickers; a good way to earn Papa’s rare wrath was to sneak one onto his vehicle, regardless of the subject. Not even the name of his good friend Jesse Helms ever made it onto the back of my father’s Oldsmobiles, although when Papa was politickin’ and not reporting, he handed out more than a few stickers to those with a different view of vehicular aesthetics.

I have an old footlocker at home that is a veritable museum dedicated to political campaigns from Nixon’s last run through Reagan’s first. There are faded pleas from forgotten senate and gubernatorial candidates, would-be and actual congressmen, placards for perhaps a dozen lesser lights and unknown commissioner-ships, and calls for party unity.

Oddly enough, a young lady for whom I professed my undying love at the ripe old age of 12 or 13 had a similar collection, although her parents were of an entirely different persuasion. It’s probably a good thing we had a falling-out over something long forgotten, since I’m not entirely sure a house that divided could ever have stood.

Just as a sticker can say a lot about a person, a person can say a lot with the right sticker.

There are a couple of stickers on my current conveyance; one attests to my love of predator hunting (which I’d enjoy a lot more if I could get a shot at one or two). Another, a nod to my beloved Miss Rhonda, that proclaims her love of possums, although I must explain to folks that she sees them as cute and cuddly critters, whilst I generally see them as candidates for supper.

Several years ago, a buddy of mine had almost unlimited access to a bumper-sticker maker. He was incontrovertible proof that an active imagination, alcohol and a bumper sticker machine should not mix.

Some of his creations were patriotic, some moving, some thoughtful, some funny, and some could give the staunchest free speech advocate pause. He had a lot of fun with that machine.

On any given highway at any time, the sticker watcher will see many proud parents of terrific kids (and a few self-confessed parents of delinquents who beat up honor students), horse lovers, dog lovers, cat lovers, proud farmers, volunteers for any number of worthy organizations, and more than a few vehicles that will be driverless when Christ returns. I even saw one drunken idiot, and I had to wonder how many times he’s been stopped by law enforcement.

Of course, in any given November, the political stickers will dominate the landscape; I almost wish this were the case in small town municipal races, too, but it’s not.

In fact, I’ve noticed fewer and fewer political bumper stickers for any races in recent years; either the old ways of advertising are fading away, or people are too disgusted to care.

Either way, I wish we could have one particular placard plastered on every vehicle. It wouldn’t have to be fancy, it wouldn’t have to be big, and it would have a simple message: Vote.

Some of you have already cast a ballot in your town’s elections, or in the referendum for the sales tax option. If you have, thank you. Local elections have the lowest turnout, yet have the highest immediate impact and sometimes, the longest-lived effects on you and your neighbors. But turnout is still usually tiny, even by modern standards when far too few people can heave their way off the couch to go vote.

I’m fairly sure the truck-driver who inspired this musing the other day is a voter; while I have no problem with his right to his opinion, it frightens me that folks like him might someday vote more frequently than do people like me. His stickers made it pretty clear how he feels about at least one of the constitutional rights I treasure.

So please, go cast a ballot Tuesday if you haven’t already. Whether we agree or disagree isn’t important; what is important is that a true majority of Americans take the time to make their feelings known by electing people they think will do the job right. For some voters, tomorrow’s ballot will just be making a statement about whether or not county governments should have the right to put another tax on the citizenry.

For all of us, it’s a matter of whether or not we are willing to exercise a right earned for us through the blood and sweat of men and women over two centuries, a right they earned for all people – even those whose opinions can be reduced to a phrase on a bumper sticker.

Weaver is a staff writer at The News Reporter. He may be reached at 642-4104, ext. 227, or via e-mail at jeffweaver@newsreporter.biz.