Humorist is Pecan Harvest Festival Queen

By JEFFERSON WEAVER
Staff Writer

She’s never been a queen.

She’s never had a court.

And don’t even ask her about a Moo-Doo.

While Celia Rivenbark may not have a lot of queenly qualifications, the author said recently she’s up to her role as this year’s Pecan Harvest Festival Queen.

“I can make a mean pecan pie,” the Duplin County farm girl turned national columnist said. “I can toast pecans, too, and make a good cheese ball rolled in pecans. I’ve hung out in a lot of pastures, so I guess I can reign over a Moo-Doo.”

Rivenbark started out at a weekly newspaper in Wallace, eventually moving on to the Wilmington Star-News where her weekly humor column took off.

Her work is read in newspapers from coast to coast on a weekly basis, and she’s written three books.

Rivenbark is best known for both her down-home humor and skewering satire – but only where it’s deserved.
“I was brought up to be a lady,” she said.

The titles of her books reflect that upbringing as well as her humor. The three works – Bless Your Heart, Tramp; Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like A Skank; and We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier all take a humorous angle on such things as Southern manners, child beauty pageants and Yankees.

Rivenbark said she’s excited about being a queen for the first time in her life.

“The only time I won anything was at a grape stomp in Rose Hill,” she said. “I think it was because I dressed up like Lucy in the TV episode. I’ve never done anything at this level of greatness, and I’m suitably flattered.”

Rivenbark said she’s looking forward to making a few queenly decrees while she’s in town.

“I understand the Pecan Belles are my court,” she said. “If they’re my court, and they have to do my bidding, I think I’ll get them to wash my car – no, detail my car. I haven’t been able to at home, since we’ve had water restrictions.”

Rivenbark said she’ll be a just queen, but one thing is not negotiable.

“I demand that people say pea-can, not pee-Kahn,” she said. “I think I’ll issue a queenly decree that in my presence, people must pronounce it correctly.”

The Moo-Doo, however, concerned her somewhat.

“I have no idea what a queen does at a Moo-Doo,” she said, “but I’m looking forward to finding out. I think.”
Rivenbark hopes to ride in her own “new to me” convertible in the Pecan Harvest Festival Parade, “even if I can’t get the belles to detail it for me.”

“I’ve always loved Whiteville,” she said. “My whole life I’ve thought it was a nice town, and really, I’m looking forward to this. I think it’ll be a fun day.”

Rivenbark and her husband, Scott Whisnant, live in Wilmington. They have one daughter, Sophie.